Rob Who???

Tuesday I receive a call from a Delaware phone number but not a number I recognize, I answer regardless:

Me: Hello

Stranger: WHO IS THIS????

Me: This is Heather, who is this?

Stranger: This is Jen

Long awkward silence…

Jen: Are you talking to Rob?

Me: I’m married with three kids, I have no idea who you are talking about

Jen: Oh, I found your number and thought you might have been someone else. Nevermind, good-bye

What strikes me as odd is, how did she “find my number?” and who the hell is “Rob?” So, it annoyed me off and on the rest of the night and I had half a notion to call her back and tell her that if she has to call strange numbers to check on her man then she should find a new one.

Thinking back on it today it was less annoying and more comical until…

Man’s Voice: Is Rob there?

Me: Nope! You have the wrong number!

Man’s Voice: Okay, bye.

Really, really we are talking about Rob yet again? This time it wasn’t my cell phone like the day prior it was my house phone. Now it’s getting too weird. Who is Rob? Has he stole my identity? Is Tom in a secret affair going by the name Rob (hahaha)? Is someone playing a practical joke on me? A little spooky.

Tom and I have been joking back and forth about “Rob” and whenever we say hello or good-bye it’s “Hey Rob or Good Bye Rob!”  If I get anymore phone calls about “Rob” I’m going to interrogate the person on the other line. I don’t even know a Rob and I hope some weirdo isn’t out there using my phone number(s). What the heck!

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Limbo Land

That’s kind of where I’m at right now with this pregnancy. After Thursday’s doctors appointment resulted in being admitted directly to the High Risk Pregnancy Unit at our local hospital.

I stayed in the hospital for about a day and a half to be observed and to complete a 24 hour urine test as an inpatient. The results of that test were the same as when I did it a month and a half ago, only confirming once again that I have preeclampsia. Shocker.

Initially, I thought that they might take Amelia that day or the next since I was sent to high-risk but obviously that didn’t occur. One of the doctors on duty said that the risk of taking her at 36 weeks was too high. Since I now have gestational diabetes Amelia is at a greater risk of having respiratory issues if she is born prior to 37 weeks. Call it mother’s intuition but I don’t think it’s her time just yet and was surprised to have found myself back in the hospital. She is doing very well cooking; it’s just my body that is having an adverse reaction.

I think it’s safe to say I’ve finally hit my wall of being good spirited about bed rest and hospital stays. It took a month and a half but I’ve finally cracked. It feels like fall was ruined, it’s my favorite time of year and I can’t even enjoy it. I miss not being able to spend as much time with Tom and our kids. I just feel sad. Maybe the coming weeks will be better?

Something Old, Something Blue

The other day I was checking the blogs I enjoy reading when I came across a post by my BF. To summarize she was discussing the tradition of women getting a gift from their husband when they have a baby. This got me to thinking…

Tom will usually get me a present as finances allow so it isn’t usually the same time the baby is born ’cause babies are expensive. I’m a big jewelry person, I’ve loved jewelry since I was a little kid. I can still remember going through my mother’s jewelry box, the carpet fibers pressing on my legs,  looking at all of her rings and necklaces. Now I have my own collection and I imagine one day I’ll find Hannie looking through my jewelry box too ;)

I’ve really lucked out in the children’s birthstone department. Hannah is aquamarine and Tom bought me a very beautiful pear shaped aquamarine ring with white diamonds around it. Next is Carter and Tom again bought me another beautiful ring this one is a cushion-cut blue topaz for Carter’s birth stone with black and white diamonds around the topaz. Both rings are very beautiful and both rings are a shade of blue. This gave me the idea that one day when/if my kids get married I will give them these rings on their wedding day as their “something old and something blue.” Carter of course could give his ring to his future bride.

It then dawned on me that I never researched what the birthstone is for November, which is when Amelia will be born. Can I tell you folks, it’s Citrine. For those of you not familiar with that stone it’s like a yellow-orange color. Gross.  I immediately went online and did manage to find a beautiful ring, that is of course sold out. (Story of my life) The more I thought about the Citrine the more I decided this warranted a call to Tom which went something like this:

H: Amelia’s birthstone is not very pretty, it’s a weird orange color. Maybe we should switch her birthday to the day prior.

T: (Slight pause) No, we are not making her birthday Halloween!

H: Well, one day, when I have lots of money and can have my mother’s ring custom-made the Citrine won’t be as pretty as an Opal would be…

T: That’s selfish Heather, we are not switching her birthday to Halloween just so you can have the ring you want.

H: I did always want an October baby and Halloween could be fun…

T: No, Heather.

So, I didn’t quite get my way but I thought my argument seemed reasonable at the time ;) Truth be told I did always want an October baby but our option was Halloween so we vetoed that before I made the surgery appointment for 11/1. The thought of Citrine made me quickly change my mind that Halloween really isn’t all that bad but Tom declared it otherwise. I guess one day when I’m old and gray I’ll have a very pretty cluster ring that contains: Aquamarine, Topaz and Citrine. And if Amelia doesn’t like Citrine I’ll let her know her Dad is to blame…blahahaha!

Vacation…

…when I get to, for a moment, pretend to be a stay at home mom. Maybe one day hopefully I’ll get to stay home with the kiddos but for now, me working is a necessary evil.

This year was a stay at home year. This usually occurs on the years I’m pregnant, I kind of like it that way. We stayed home for a day then headed to the beach for a few days. Came home and stayed a day and then the next headed to Sesame Place. Then back home to watch movies, eat popcorn and lounge around like we hadn’t a care in the world! Ooh, we even had my best friend’s baby shower which was of course super fun! Then it was a quiet fourth of July as Tom returned to work and I attempted to shrink the overwhelming list on my DVR. Monday night Hannie had a hard time falling asleep, as soon as she realized it was back to work for me the next day she would not stop crying. After I finally got her settled in bed, I went in my room and started to cry too. I hate leaving my kiddos and I really, really didn’t want to leave them for super stressful work. I guess that’s life and we just got to keep plugging along and praying life might change for the better someday.

As fun as vacation was I think it was an eye opener for me. Hannah’s voice sounds so little still and I enjoyed taking the time to listen to her ramble on. Carter’s legs suddenly looked so long! When did my baby boy turn into a nearly two-year old? I enjoyed snuggling in bed with my husband at a normal time of day. I just wish life could be like that everyday! Tom and I were able to talk face to face for once which was terrific. We even hammered out a baby name for our upcoming girl. We both really liked Amelia Sophia but couldn’t bring ourselves to give this child the initials A.S.S.  So, we decided on Amelia Jane instead! Apparently, come to find out Amelia is a family name on Tom’s side and Jane is a family name on my side which was an added bonus we hadn’t realized.

I am going to make a pointed effort from here on out to make more family time and memories. The years are slipping by entirely too fast!

I <3 NY

This past Saturday I had the pleasure of visiting NYC. It was so wonderful and almost magical. We stepped out of the train station and I immediately had a smile on my face and couldn’t help but stand in amazement of the impressive buildings and the hustle and bustle that surrounded me. Our first stop was of course to a Starbucks because we all had to relieve ourselves and needed a warm beverage to keep us from freezing to death. After that we grabbed a hot dog from a street vendor, walked to fifth avenue, stood in awe at St. Patrick’s Cathedral, watched street performers, meandered around the Plaza Hotel, perused FAO Schwartz, ate at Pop Burger (delicious!), walked to Central Park, watched the ice skaters, ogled Tiffany & Co, fought our way to get a glimpse of the Rockefeller Tree, walked 4,000,000,000 miles to Times Square and then an additional 4,000,000,000,000 miles back to the train station. I even spotted Laura Linney and she smiled at me, I just love her! It was a terrific drama-free day and I would do it again-in a New York Minute ;)

Photo Credit: Kaila Regina Wedding Photography

Progress Report with a Dash of History

(The Progress Report)

I’m back on track with my weight-loss and so thankful for that. I lost 5ish pounds since last week and am feeling “skinnier,” even if it is all in my head ;)

I stumbled quite a bit for the past few months and have been yo-yoing with my weight since about End of July/August. I’m not sure if it was that realization or my new hair cut but I managed to get my butt back in gear and that is what counts.

My initially stumbling was due to your typical pit-falls: vacations, birthdays, more vacations, day trips, weddings, birthdays, repeat, repeat, justify, justify, justify.

I feel good about it once again and hope that feeling stays around awhile!

****************************************************************************

(The History)

I first started to become heavy as a child, around age 10 or 11. I was molested and never told anyone.  Instead I chose to eat through my feelings because that is what I could control. By age 12 I was gigantic or so I felt.  In 6th/7th grade I wore a size 18. It was then that I first started “dieting.”

It started out with the vegetable soup diet, I lost a good amount of weight on this diet. Then I started taking Meridia around 8th grade into 9th grade to aid me in my weight loss. By the time 9th grade rolled around and I was starting high school I was a magical size 12 and I really felt a lot better about myself. I was “skinny” or so I thought and had a great high school experience. My diet in high school was less than stellar, I would eat cereal bars for breakfast and a diet coke with a butterscotch krimpet for lunch (most days). This was the picture of nutrition.

I ballooned back up slowly but surely and can’t quite remember where it all went wrong but I think that in 12th grade spanning into life after high school I became gigantic once again.

For a good while I stayed around a 22/24. Then after a few years of infertility and treatment for such I started to balloon even  further. I finally topped out around 26/28 and even had a few pants that were size 28.  I couldn’t believe I let myself get this way. Finally I started to lose weight, lost 30 pounds got pregnant, had baby, lost weight, gained weight.  Lost weight again, had another baby, lost baby weight, gained more weight. It’s a vicious cycle. I fell into the trap every time.

This time around I really felt called to lose this weight, my journey started around May and from May to July I lost 35 pounds! I was ecstatic! It was then that I really started looking at the real issue of where this weight issue started in the first place. Being molested. I had never dealt with it. I had told next to no one and it had taken me 16 years to tell my parents. That is insane when I think about it that way.

Finally after all of  these years I’m dealing with it and it stinks. I still  cry when I talk about it, the shame, sadness and anger that I have carried around for all of these years has really taken a toll on my heart. I’ve gotten to a point where I’m at a stale mate with myself,  Do I continue to go to counseling to deal? What do I expect to come of it? Will this feeling ever go away? Will I ever feel normal? Right now I don’t think it will and if I could step into a mind erasing machine, I would.  Since I can’t change what I have experienced as a child and the impact that it has left on me; I’ll focus on changing my body and I’ll need tons of prayer to help me with that!

I know good will come of this someday, I just wish that someday would happen soon.

What In The World Is Going On Up There?

I guess it’s been about two months or so that I have changed my hair style and color. It is quite fun and I always feel so delightful when I leave.

I was a little bummed about how fast red fades, mine will completely wash out in two weeks. When I went back the second time it was as if my hair was colored a completely different way from when I left. I left with a purplish brown color all over with red/purple highlights, when I went back the second time I had brown with blonde highlights. So I got the same color as before because clearly I don’t learn my lesson the first time. I explained to her how I hate how fast it fades. She sold me a bottle of pigment (read: hair color that you do at home) for an additional $15 to put on my head once a week. Hm. So every thursday I dye my hair, WTF!

Then this last time I went I thought my hair looked shorter on one side then the other. Surely this was my imagination! So I keep thinking it’s the way I am parting it or something. Well, it must have been the “or something,” I finally got down to business to investigate this scene a little further. I brush my hair completely flat to my head,  sure as the sun sets my hair is an 1 1/2 shorter on my right side then on my left. I tried parting it this way and that which seemed to just make matters worse. Hmm, now what should I do? For a millisecond I considered cutting the one side shorter to match. I decided against that as the longer side is my favorite side. It will be best to just let it grow out and hopefully have better luck next haircut?!?! This seems most logical for now.

I don’t know what to do now, do I keep spending ridiculous amounts of money for this? I know for a fact I am no longer doing the purple/red/magenta color anymore. It only looks nice the first day, after I wash my hair it comes right out.  I am afraid to get my hair cut elsewhere because I don’t know who does a good graduated bob and I am hoping my faux pas was a one time occasion. I’m thinking I’ll be heading to the beauty supply store to pick out a new hair color and letting my mom do it.  :-(

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