Childbirth Class (Day 2)

I am surprised how informative these classes are. A lot of people say “Oh, you don’t need to go” or “They are so boring, you shouldn’t go.”  I don’t think that is the case at all. It is helping me to be better prepared mentally on what to expect and all the possible things that could happen. Although the birthing videos are quite disgusting, I was prepared enough for that, I didn’t need to see another woman’s hoohaa with a baby coming out  (and all the fluid that comes with it!) it was really rather gross. They even showed the placenta, it was definitely a throw-up in your mouth moment.

Some of the things they show you just look rather medieval and since I have never given birth before I hadn’t realized that there are monitors that attach to the baby while the baby is inside of you and then the wire hangs out your hoo-haa, there is also another monitor that measures contractions and goes in to said hoo-haa with another wire hanging out. That is not cool. Then they went over two methods of induction. The one being pitocin the other was medieval. The second method is a catheter that goes into your cervix and then is blown up with a little bit of air so that the tube has a bubble. Then the rubber hose is (once again) left hanging out of your hoo-haa. It is supposed to induce your labor and get you to dilate. You are supposed to go to sleep with this hose hanging out of you and then in the morning it just “falls out” once you start to dilate. If it doesn’t fall out then that method just isn’t going to work for you and you had that tube in there all night for nothing. The instructor had nerve enough to tell us that it doesn’t hurt, I refuse to believe that shit. My cervix has been screwed around with plenty by doctors and when they stick something in there it hurts like a bitch…she’s not fooling me!

So that is just a glimmer of the possible things that could happen to you and your hoo-haa. There was much more traumatizing facts but I don’t have the time to go over it all just now.

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7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. twithhoney
    Jan 16, 2008 @ 10:26:55

    I believe that a lot of those monitors are only needed if there is an indication of trouble.

    I had one monitor, a belly band. It was a belt I wore around my waste that monitored the contractions. Nothing hanging out of my hoo-haa.

    All the info on what happens, what can happen, breathing techniques, positions to try, massage ideas were very helpful. I didn’t use most of them but the one or two that I remembered and that worked were life saving!

  2. girlymama
    Jan 16, 2008 @ 12:23:51

    I also only had one monitor on my belly – no hoo-haa nonscence. I do think that is only if they are concerned or over-cautious.
    And I’ve never heard of the bubble thing….

    And yes, the whole thing is rather gross, but luckily you and hubby will be so busy looking at your baby that you miss a lot of the super gross stuff ;-)

  3. Kate
    Jan 16, 2008 @ 16:21:56

    I have never even HEARD of that induction method. Good lord!

  4. Trena
    Jan 16, 2008 @ 17:41:30

    I just stumbled on your blog today and it’s a good thing I did! Oh gosh, I didn’t know all that. Thanks for the info. I just found out last week that I am pregnant (haven’t made the official announcement on my website yet.) I can’t seem to get my hands on enough material. What an amazing journey! Good luck in the upcoming weeks. I will keep you in my prayers!

  5. fancythis
    Jan 16, 2008 @ 19:57:18

    gee, I just can’t WAIT to have kids ;)

  6. pinks & blues girls
    Jan 17, 2008 @ 10:24:56

    OK, I think this just made me put having kids off a little longer… ;)

    Jane, Pinks & Blues

  7. Christy
    Jan 30, 2008 @ 15:26:12

    The method of monitoring the baby from the interior is very scary since it greatly increases the chance that there will be an infection.

    The best methods of induction are:
    sex
    walking
    taking Black and Blue Cohosh (herbs that are known to help ripen your cervix)
    castor oil (yuck)
    squats (helps to stretch your pelvis and bring the baby down farther)

    Pitocin just causes excruciating labor pains because it’s forcing your body to do something it’s not ready to do. It’s doing the job that oxytocin (your body’s hormone) would be doing if you were ready.

    But if you aren’t in labor already, you shouldn’t be at the hospital unless you are close to 42 weeks. It’s a common misconception that anything over 40wks is late. 40wks is just the average. 90% of women give birth between 38-42wks. When your little one is ready to enter this world they will let you know.

    Good luck, and just don’t get pushed around by the hospital/dr to induce, you’ll be glad you didn’t!!!

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