Well my nose hasn’t bled since I was pregnant, in case you’re not keeping up that was four months ago. However, since about a month ago my nose has bled 10+ times per week for about ten to fifteen minutes at a whack. Normally, it is after blowing my nose but today out of the clear blue I am talking to a co-worker and my nose starts gushing blood! WTF!

So about three managers asked my if I was okay and everything. One of the managers had asked me if I have seen an Ear Nose and Throat doctor about it. Well of course I haven’t even though someone will tell me to go like everytime my nose bleeds at work.

So I decide the random bleeding was the last straw. I finally called and am going to “get my nose fixed” on Thursday! YAY!

I don’t know why I haven’t gone yet but enough is enough. My nose bleeds at work and I’m certain these people are hoping I don’t have AIDS or anything contagious. Maybe I should put a Bio-Hazard warning across my cube!

Wish me luck, I’m a little nervous about the prospect of having my nose cauterized!

Last week I stopped pumping and nursing altogether. The baby was not wanting to nurse good ever since I went back to work, she seemed to become lazy and only wanted the bottle. Then when I pumped I got the most minuscule amount of milk, I used to get an ounce per boob then it got less and less. It was so low that last week when I would pump I only got about an eighth of an ounce. That’s when I knew it was time to call it quits. As a result I have been really sad lately. Like, start crying for no apparent reason sad. I tried to tell Tom how I had been feeling today but he doesn’t understand I guess. Gosh, even right now I’m starting to tear up.

I’m assuming that I am going through some hormonal change to add to the guilt of no longer breast feeding. I never thought it would be so hard. Everyone says you have no problem nursing and I think that is a bunch of crap. It rates right up there with having no problem getting pregnant! Ha!

I guess I better hit the hay, I have a long day of work ahead of me.

Things have been hectic but in a good way lately, we went on vacation to Missouri for a week, we came home got back into the routine of things and now we are back to home improvements. Our entire heating and cooling system was replaced for the house, woo-hoo! Central air is back! Not that we were dying we did put in two window units in the mean time. I have diligently gotten back to painting wood trim and the wood doors. I have gotten all the trim painted and am feeling very proud of myself. Today I went out and bought all the stuff we need to re-do the powder room. So hopefully my dad and I can start putting that all together. I still have to mud, sand and paint the walls and finish grouting the tiles then we can start installing the vanity, toilet, etc. Fun times!

Work has been awful in my opinion. I had two days last week were I came home crying and/or cried at my desk (silently of course). I’ll go into that in length at a later date. However, one good thing did come from last week, I will now be working four-ten hour days and have off one day of the week.

So as you can see there’s not too much going on around here.

Hannie is not a baby anymore, well she is, she just doesn’t think so.

She wants to be held straight up you can not lay her down and hold her like a baby. She even tries to sit up and suck from the bottle!

She started rolling a few weeks ago and is now a rolly-caterpillar! This morning I went in her room to check on her and she was sleeping on her belly with her face buried in her crib mattress. Visions of suffocation flashed in my head until I touched her and she moved her legs, I think she is trying to give me a heart-attack!

We started giving her cereal in a bottle and we will attempt to feed her with a spoon tonight, this should prove interesting.

I took her bumper off the other day and she repeatedly got her leg stuck in the bars of her crib so I put the bumper back on. We were afraid she would smother on the bumper now that she rolls around like a wild woman but she could smother once she gets her leg caught just as easily in my opinion. So against Tom’s wishes I put the bumper back on.

The poor little thing is teething she started that a few weeks ago. It started out not very noticeable but now she is constantly trying to chew something and drooling like crazy so hopefully we will see a tooth soon! I told my niece that baby Hannah was teething and she walked over and practically ripped her mouth off trying to look inside. I told her no, you can’t do that, you might hurt her! She replied, Well I want to see it! Touche!

Is your family okay?

Well heck, I hadn’t really given it much thought but the flooding in Missouri very well could have affected my family. I don’t think it did, haven’t heard any reports. But I swear everyday it seems like two or more people are asking me this question. I guess people hear Missouri and automatically think of me? Interesting.

What people don’t realize is that Missouri is HUGE compared to the state I live in so people aren’t quite used to things happening and it not affecting the entire state.

I suppose I’ll here stories of the flood on Saturday when I see everyone, although I don’t really think they were affected.

I’ve discovered that I am extremely  upset about being fat. It really has never bothered me until after I had the baby. I don’t mean to say that I was ecstatic to be fat before the baby it’s just that my fat is somehow different now.  I am the absolute heaviest I have ever been in my entire life currently and I am sick of it! None of my clothes fit, I managed to find two pairs of capris out of the 50 bazillion pairs that I own that I could actually squeeze my muffin top  bigger stomach into.  I am still secretly wearing my maternity pants (this is probably not normal?) to work and the jeans on the weekend. I need help! Not only am I fatter but now I am turning into a fashion disaster.

Tom has lost 100 pounds, yes 100 pounds! Before we were equally fat together and maybe that is why I am now so uncomfortable in my skin anymore.

Yesterday we went to an Orioles game. I am about to take Tom’s picture and an older gentleman offers to take the picture for me so we can both be in it. OMG! I looked at the picture afterwards and I look like an elephant. My face is enormous! I mean to tell you huge! That rattled my cage and I kept thinking back to that picture. Then the game ended and we began our trek four blocks back to where the car is parked. I couldn’t keep up with Tom at all. My shorts were riding up while I walked, my flip-flops were slipping off my feet and Tom acts like we are in a marathon. He keeps yelling, “Hurry up, you need to keep up, blah, blah, blah!” I tried to explain I couldn’t walk as fast as him but he didn’t want to hear it, he couldn’t understand how my cavs could be hurting already. Please keep in mind that we were walking up hills and everything it’s not like it was a flat surface. So about a block from the parking garage my legs felt like one big cramp. I started crying, of course, it was so embarrassing to me that I couldn’t keep pace with Tom and that he kept hurrying me along.

It doesn’t help either that like every weekend one if not both of my parents will say “You need to follow Tom’s lead, look how good he’s doing!” As to which I am perfectly aware of what Tom is doing as I used to do the same thing and I am the one who taught him the diet before I became pregnant.

So starting today and am going back into weight loss mode. No more junk of any kind. I am going to start writing down everything I eat and make myself keep count of what I am putting in my mouth. Hopefully this will help my self esteem that has dwindled down into nothing.

Our air conditioner broke, that’s right, I had central air and it was taken away just like that. So I am sweating to death and praying for some relief. Unfortunately we are in the middle of a heat wave which I am sure will be the first of many this summer, lucky me! We immediately called out our friend to look at the unit since he is in HVAC and of course we need a total and complete new system. Our unit thing in the basement is a “dinosaur” and apparently the unit outside is “the cheapest crap you can buy.” It was the only thing we hadn’t replaced so I guess we can’t be too surprised. Saturday morning I thought it was a blessing the thing did work. It lasted until sometime Sunday morning because the thermostat read 72′ when I woke up and checked it. ‘Tis my life.

So thank you money pit, thank you for another $3,000-$5,000 that I need to fix the air.

Come out, come out wherever you are!

You know who you are lurking in the shadows,  afraid to comment. Or maybe you think you have somehow out-witted me and I don’t have any idea your checking up on me. I know who you are, oh yes I know you’re there.

So lets have it lurkers… Show your cards, I already know your there, just make your presence known.

I know I just got back to work but, all I can think of is how vacation is right around the corner! Tom bought us tickets for the Cardinals game and I am stoked! Last time we went to the game it was a ton of fun, except for the part when I slipped on water after the game and was almost trampled to death by the other fans leaving the stadium while my husband kept walking without realizing I fell, but I digress.

I think we might go to Branson this year which will be awesome, hopefully we will be able to catch a show or two.

Work has been a smidge interesting lately, my boss pulled me aside and asked me to be the back-up for the girl that is in charge of our team. I thought that was quite exciting and of course as I predicted my first day as “boss” the complainers took me aside and bitched for 45 minutes about the girl in charge of us. Then when I told them what work we were going to be doing differently for the week, the one told me that she is not going to do it, “that is her work!” So I explained that while she is on vacation it is “our work.” What a biznatch. I don’t need aggravation at 7:30 in the morning, can’t people just do as they’re told? Apparently not.

I kind of like being “boss.” I think I clearly need to be a manager, it is much funner giving orders instead of taking them!